I was trying to think of something to write about Ds tonight, and although I am not short of topics to talk about, I really just don't feel like talking about it tonight.
Since Ola has come along there isn't a day that I don't think about Ds in some way. At one point not that long ago I had 3 books about it in progress. I was trying to learn but in that I hit overload. It has become an obsession really, I think I thought I had to learn everything about it all at once. I want to have all the info in my head. I want it in there so I can reference it if I need to. I want to have that info so when something seems off I can call on the little librarian inside my head and get her to call up the chapter.
I want to seem educated when the pediatrician asks me a question.
I want to know what the warning signs for leukemia are.
I want to know what to look for if her heart is having trouble.
I want to know that a little squint could be nothing, or she could be having trouble seeing.
I want to know that she is hearing ok and that she is just totally ignoring me.
I want to know that it's "normal" for her to not be reaching out to grab toys.
I want to know that I am not the only one who is watching their child spit out 75% of the food I put in her.
I want to know that I am not crazy when I am noticing these things.
I want to go to bed and put these things out of my mind.
So tonight in not writing something about Ds, I kinda did.