There have only been a couple of things that have made me want to break down and cry in the last couple of months. Most of which had nothing to do with the fact that Ola has DS, and mainly to do with the fact that I wasn't able to breastfeed her.
Ola and I just couldn't get our stuff together and co-ordinate. Some of it has to do with the DS. Her tongue thrusting, the low muscle tone, and her LOVE of the bottle. We have tried many, many times over the last 9 weeks to get her latched and I always felt like a complete and utter failure every time it didn't work out. I would give up and not try again for a few days. Most tries consisted of a 10 minute session. I probably ended sooner than I should have for fear of her getting to tired to even eat at all. (This happened, and it sucked) I have been pumping numerous times each day as well as taking Domperidone to get more milk to come in. The pumping has gotten to me many times in the last nine weeks, I have felt like a cow, humiliated to be sitting on my "breastfeeding" chair pumping rather than cuddling with my baby like I planned. Defeated to "still" be doing this, as it was supposed to be short term. Really I guess in reality 9 weeks is short term :) Sad to have to admit that we "couldn't" breastfeed and super annoyed that I knew that it would be better for her later on for speech and eating if she was. I was determined and being "stubborn" as my mother told me. I decided I would pump long term until she was ready for more solid foods if that was the way it was going to be.
She had her first inoculations yesterday, and for some reason seeing another milestone of 10 pounds on the scale made me think it was time to try again. I waiting until this morning, until I was good and "full". It would be easier I figured, it would be easy for her to get some milk and maybe she would be ready to work for it. and SHE DID IT!!! She nursed for 45 minutes (poor Poppy waited like a champ for breakfast!) and she has nursed 3 more times since then with the last time her attacking me like she hadn't been fed in a month! It was great!
I know that the next week or so will still consist of top ups of formula and I am OK with that. I hope that with her nursing for so long more milk will come in and we can switch over. I am looking forward to calling our nurse and telling her that We did it!, and then telling our pediatrician that We did it too!!!
*EDIT* I just got an email from my mom informing me that it should be stubborn as a MULE! haha Mom, I knew something wasn't quite right about the goat bit, but that's ok. I had goats and they are stubborn too!