Wednesday, June 8, 2011

a cleansing breath

Just when I think that I am feeling comfortable in this space I'm not.

Just when I think I have figured out the purpose of this blog I haven't.

Just when I think I have a path to follow I don't.

I have said here before that I am not sure where I want this blog to go. I want it for my memories because lets face it, I can type a whole lot faster than I can put a pen to paper. Plus, for some reason I always seem to make time for this, and I know that at midnight when I am crawling into bed I wouldn't reach over for a journal.

After Ola was born I wanted this to be a place where I could talk openly and honestly about Down syndrome and my feelings on it. I wanted to use this space as a place for advocacy and education. I wanted a place where I could come, type and cry and get it all out so I could move on with my day. A place where I could come and share the great moments and accomplishments. A place where you could come and love up my little sweet Ola.

I want to type all the crazy little things that Poppy amazes me with everyday. Her little jokes, questions that make me laugh out loud, or make me turn my head in disbelief so I can have a little snicker without her seeing. I want to share how wise and loving she is, that she knows about Ola's special friends, and that she loves them like they are her own.

It is crazy to me, that in the 3 years that I have been blogging my husband hasn't come here once to see what I write about. He hears from friends and family about the blog but honestly has no idea what I share. In some ways I want to thank him for letting this place be mine, but on the other I am curious why he doesn't seem to care. I don't actually know who in my family reads this blog besides my Mom (hi Mom!) I wish they would read it. It would mean a lot to me.

I started this blog in early 2008 as a place to send my customers for updates and information. I kinda like that the dolls are hardly mentioned here any more.  I have been thinking a lot about my dolls lately and I just can't get up enough steam to let them be a success. I honestly don't know if it's fear or laziness that is holding me back.

I think that I always hoped that Poot & Boogie would become an overnight sensation and Moms and other bloggers would help make me a household name. For what, I have no idea, but I think that I always wanted some type of "fame" out of it. I have come to realize that the world has enough popular mommy bloggers, enough Ds mommy bloggers, enough crafty mommy bloggers, and honestly I think that is ok with me now. Like some of you (ok I bet all of you!) watched the last episode of the Oprah Winfrey show a few weeks ago, and even though I thought it was for the most part a preachy speech but there is one thing that she said that sent shivers up my spine. I don't remember the exact wording of course but basically it was that everyone has a platform to change someones life. In her case it was her stage, it was her show. It my case it's this blog. My words are my Oprah show. She said it didn't matter how many people you had in your circle. Whether it be 20 or 30, or just your friends and family and neighbors. Every person has the opportunity and ability to share, listen, teach, learn or speak. It doesn't matter currently if I have 10000 followers or 29 (but who wouldn't want 10000?) My words are reaching you and I Thank you for taking time out of your day to read about what I am writing.

I look at quite a few blogs throughout the day. Some are Down syndrome ones, some are sewing and crafty ones. Some are photography and lifestyle ones, design ones, and so on. I am not quite sure where I would like to fit in the blog world. Can I just be Leanna the blogger?

If you haven't noticed already, take a look around, I have made some changes (mostly cosmetic at the moment) but I will be adding more content to my blog in the near future. I was feeling unmotivated here, and I had been afraid to switch things up here but decided today was the day to take a leap of faith. I wanted to refresh this space, breathe some new life into it. I am hoping that my little changes have started the ball rolling. I am planning on joining a blog networking site (don't know which one yet) I figure I am always looking for new blogs, so maybe someone is looking for mine!

It is my hope that you will share this blog (if you want to of course! no pressure!) so that more people will come share this space with us. We all have an opportunity to learn through poot & boogie (myself included) so spread the word! facebook it! blog it! share it! No need to ask, just go for it!

You don't have to have a google profile to comment on posts, use the anonymous option but leave your name so I know who you are! Feel free to comment, share links, ideas or whatever!

again, thanks for taking the time, it means the world to me :)

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Debbie said...

Oh L! I don't read your Blog as often as I want to, BUT yours is the only one I DO read these days! I am trying to make you a famous household name with your dolls! Really! I am!! hee hee hee
Keep on blogging! I love it!! And I love the way you write.

Anonymous said...

I read, it's great, you look awesome! You're inspiring. -Mike

April said...

I like your blog revamp - it feels good to change it up, freshen! {ps. how did your bangs grow out so quickly? I wish mine did! :-)} Keep on blogging, poot & boogie! It's very inspiring!

Amber said...

Oh, look, you changed things up with the look - fun!

I loved Oprah's last show, and I wouldn't call myself an Oprah fan. She left me feeling all kinds of inspired. I'm glad she did the same for you. :)

Glenda said...

The world is full to the brim with charming creative souls. I'm so glad I happened upon your blog my dear. We all long to know, and to be known. Keep being honest, keep talking, keep creating. You have encouraged me with your candor. Thank you.