one

A week before Ola was going to be turning one I was in full denial that she had a birthday coming up. I had a basic idea of what I wanted to do. I made the invites and had sent them in time. I knew who was coming, but I still felt unprepared and not ready for her to turn one.

I remember the week of her birthday I was feeling really glad. Really glad that I had made it through the first year. When she was born I didn't think I would make it. Her unexpected diagnosis obviously threw me, and when I was sitting with her in the nursery I couldn't even imagine what she would be like at one. She was the tiniest, quietest little bit of a thing. She seemed a little distant, but I know that is because I was separated from her so much for the first 5 days. I swore the nurses were trying to keep her away from me. Every time I would make it in thinking I could feed her they would have just finished and she would be sleeping. Just when I thought I could sneak in a little cuddle time they would have just put her back under the billi lights. Honestly I really hated walking in and out of that hospital without her. I felt like a huge failure, and it was depressing. I cried almost every time I got back out to my car. I only cracked once and cried in front of a nurse and I thought there was no way she would let me take my baby home. I was scared to cry there, to show any sign of weakness.

I talked to Mark during that week about how a year ago this was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. It was seriously the saddest/scariest part of my whole entire life. I know that sounds bad but let me explain a  little. We were so unbelievable happy about Ola being born, and really she was a healthy, happy baby. I am smiling in the above picture... see :) Any parent that is given any type of news about any type of health problem I think is upset. It was just so damn scary to not really know anything about Ds. When I was initially reading the info it was all the worst case scenario type stuff. Heart defects, deafness, blindness, different grades of mental retardation. Those two words were the worst. Mental Retardation. I think it's time to come up with a new term people. I hate that term in relation to my daughter. I prefer Developmental Delays. Do you hear me medical people! It's time for a change. (Ok so there is my rant!)

I digress...

I just wish that a year ago as a scared Mama I could have taken a little red pill that would have sent me to now to know that everything is alright. I wish that new moms that are having their beautiful babies now could do the same. I wish that I could hold their hand and pass them a kleenex and tell them that really every thing is going to be OK. Really. It is.

Back to the party.

I wanted to have a birthday breakfast for Ola. I figured she wouldn't be eating her cake, and she couldn't eat a hot dog so we were having breakfast. She loves herself some oatmeal cereal and blueberries.

We got everyone to my parents house for 9:30, and ate!

Mark insisted that there be waffles, so he manned the waffle station.

Mom made muffins, and scones. We had fruit and a cereal buffet. We had big kettles of tea and coffee, and pitchers of juice and milk.

It was on Easter weekend so we had an Easter Egg hunt

Ola saw her mini cupcake and in high-insight she could have tried it. After her choking episode I am not rushing the food anymore.

I made all these little suckers. Don't worry I had a pan.

birthday girl!

they were just too darn cute I had to take lots of pictures

One of the goals we set for Ola was to be able to sit by her first birthday. We worked hard on it and she did it! At 11 months! It was really important to me that we have a picture so we set her up by my parents garden and had a photo shoot!

It was a beautiful day for April and I am so glad that we got to have the whole thing outside. I think it actually got hot at one point!

I am just so glad that we have Ola. She is the teacher and we are her students. She teaches me everyday and for that I am thankful.

Now I fully realize that it is the end of May and that Ola turned one in April. Her birthday party was a little late because my parents were in Hawaii and I didn't want them missing any of the action.